It is almost one in the mid night when Sophie reaches her home from office. Her energy is completely sapped and her hunger almost died. Sophie can forego anything for her sleep. Locking the entrance door behind she crashes on her bed.
The house is filled with eerie silence. It’s a well furnished single bed room flat with wooden flooring. Right now, the house is completely messed up and it gives scary impression if any person walks in. It was almost three days since utensils were washed and the floor was mopped. In front of the entrance door Sophie had left her shoe. Sophie loved to be independent. The hall which was named as Paradise on the Day-One she saw the house and but now it appears as a scary den. The newspaper table is smudged with coffee and jam stains and the table is filled with unwashed plates; which were left after having toast. Toast and coffee is Sophie’s usual dinner. The air conditioner above the sofa has not been switched off since three days. The kitchen is looking shoddy with cockroaches moving here and there. In the room attached to the hall, Sophie is sleeping on her bed surrounded by her clothes, hair drier, makeup kit and the list goes on.
In the middle of night Sophie wakes up due to a scary dream. She looks at the clock ticking three and counts the number of hours that she can sleep. Feeling hungry and weak she drags herself to kitchen. Sophie is a tall, slender, fair haired girl in her late twenties, with serene face and brown eyes; which now days always wore a look of anxiety. As her eyelids are dropping down, she makes up her mind to wash her face before having toast and coffee.
She looks herself in the mirror which is above the washbasin and feels as though she is starring at a stranger. Black circles under her eyes, cheeks completely went in and the lips are pale pink color. The tenderness in her face is completely lost, kindness in her eyes is hidden, and deep in her eyes; the dreams buried. As just she looks around the ground, she finds plenty of her hairs fallen. When she looks at the mirror again she finds her image, as though mocking at her own self. She splashes water on her face, comes back to her original self and goes to kitchen to get her food. After having coffee and toast sitting on sofa, she leaves the plate and coffee mug on news paper table and continues her sleep on sofa.
Sophie lives in Chicago, working with Chase Bank as a Business Executive. Sophie’s parents live in New Jersey. She has a younger brother who is a medico. Right from her childhood she imagined herself as a famous Business Lead in her country. She always had a plan to start her own business. To learn the business fundas and to earn for her livelihood, Sophie tries her best and gets into the management related job. Before moving to Chase Bank in Jan 2007, Sophie has worked as a credit card seller, management trainee and sales executive in different firms. Sophie interacts with clients and customers daily. Her role demands lot of patience and hard work. She faces people of different mood swings; inert, violent and firm. By nature Sophie is a very active and good at heart person but along with the time she had to change a lot. Compassion and being affectionate doesn’t suit her profession.
The beam of sun rays penetrating from the curtain opening, falls on Sophie’s face, she turns her face to other side and continues to sleep. After some time, her phone rings she decides to set the alarm to snooze but the ring turns out to be a call from her client. Sophie awakes seeing John’s number reflecting on her mobile display. Baffled and terrified she picks the call and says, ‘Good Morning John, may I know the reason for your early morning call?’ "Sophie, you did a blunder. Your yesterday’s mail regarding the ad contract fails to mention the most important points. Boss is not happy with your work. Come to office as soon as possible." says John and hangs the call before Sophie could reply.
Sophie gets ready in her favorite blue jeans and pink T-Shirt. She sets her hair loose, with simple makeup on face, high heal, carrying a laptop in a backpack she starts to her office. She goes office by bus daily. Sharp at eight in the morning, Sophie reaches office. As soon as she reaches office Sophie goes to John’s desk to discuss the issue. John and Sophie’s boss sits in the same cabin. Kevin, Sophie’s boss asks her to take her seat. Her Boss starts the conversation asking about the ad-contract meeting that Sophie attended the day before. She explains everything well, except for the reason about the dead line that she sets. Kevin warns Sophie to be careful with the deals that she makes from next time. Sophie accepts her mistake gracefully and comes out of the cabin.
The rest of the day goes like a quick flash. Sophie feels happy and relaxed to finish her work soon. The moment she was about to wind her work for the day, she receives a call from Kevin to attend meeting with another client for an ad-contract. As she couldn’t (or cant) say no to him, she stays back to attend the call and completes her day’s work by 9 P.M. Tired and frustrated she visits the hotel nearby office for a Pizza parcel. She reaches home, unlocks the door and turns on the light. Seeing the house, Sophie thinks, cleaning her house is a Hercules Task. After refreshing, she opens the Pizza bag on the dining table. Having Pizza, reminds her of good old college days. Even though the pocket money was limited, the unlimited fun with friends, care free and the jolly life was always enjoyable.
Later Sophie gets engrossed in her thoughts ....Am I going to be a Business Lead really in life? Can I ever come out of this quagmire? Will I ever have time for my personal life? Where have I left my personal interests, hobbies? What my life has kept hidden for me?
This story is not only about Sophie, but also it is about every person who sacrifices their dreams due to different reasons and gets caught up in vicious circle; who can neither come out of it nor enjoy being in it. Striving hard for survival, surrendering the self interests, slogging day in and day out but left out with sleeplessness and negative credit points… Even though the salary is big in number, more than half would be spent for living and the rest for tax.
I can express the feelings on behalf of people like Sophie but I have no idea about the way to come out of it as even…
I’M AWAKE AND MY WORLD IS SET FOR SLEEP. In search of myself…
-D.D
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