Kindness is my Religion

I would like to share the lighter moments of my visit to China which is the reason to start this blog.
My Alarm didn’t wake me up. My morning meeting time urged me to start ASAP. I got ready, grabbed an apple from fridge with laptop in my back pack, rushed to office. I was completely engrossed in my work until I felt very hungry at one in the noon. Then I have realized that I forgot to get my lunch box which I used to pack daily in the morning after cooking food.
I went for lunch with one of my Chinese Teammates (Ivy). Ivy is a very kind girl, always with smile on her face. We both walked to the food court which was very much nearby. We joined the queue to collect the food. I ordered spinach and rice and Ivy had chosen pork and rice. After paying the bill I took a set of chop sticks for Ivy and a spoon for me. The spoon is very wide, as it is meant to have soup. (I didn’t find any other spoons too.) We sat on the table to have food.
The ambience reminded me of B’lore Infy food courts. When I looked around, I felt nostalgic. Slowly we got into some conversation. I was not able to pay proper attention to her words as I was trying hard to place the spinach on the spoon to have a bite. My appetite was increasing so was my impatience. Ivy observed it and suggested me different ways to have it easier, but still I faced some difficulty in having the lengthy spinach leaves. Ivy took the spoon and tried to show me the easy way but even she failed as the sauce added to the spinach was sticky. She helped me with her chop sticks and placed the spinach on my big spoon and asked me to have.
Let me stop the above narration for a while and take you back to my school days. I’m from an orthodox family and a vegetarian. I was taught at home, that having non veg is against our religious norms and many other things. (I’m emphasizing non veg as my next eg is based on it …;)) This had not only frightened me to see the uncooked meat but also I started to dislike. I never asked or gave thought about it. One day when I was in 6th standard, all our class girls sat in the ground to have lunch. As usual we shared our food with one another. Unknowingly I had non veg from my friend’s box. The moment I got to know that I had non veg I got up and ran to the class room crying. I didn’t know whom I need to blame --- myself, my friend or my religious norms??? Bewildered, panicked, disheartened I reached my home.
After I reached home, my mom asked to give my Tiffin box to put it along with vessels to be washed. The moment she took the box from my hand she asked me the reason for not having food. I was frozen with fear and guilt and I couldn’t answer her words other than asking her ‘What punishment would God give if I have non veg food?’ with tears in my eyes. My mom understood the situation happened at school and took me close and held me in her hands. I was even much confused as I expected her to ask me to take shower first, scold me or look down upon me (none of which she did). With a smile on face mom said, "My Love, God will not punish you. He’s is a very kind hearted person and understands His children well. Don’t worry and refresh now. I hope you didn’t have your lunch properly I will prepare nice dosas for you".
I felt happy as my mom assured me that God will not punish me. At the same time I was confused, as I very well remember my mom told me once, "Having meat is against our religious norms and God will punish those who disobey these norms."
When I saw Ivy placing the lengthy spinach with her chop sticks, I looked at her, kindness in her eyes, friendly look on her face and more than anything the innocence in her; who has no idea about my religious norms has left me with guilty feeling. With pure heart and affection she was waiting for my acceptance which really made me feel ashamed to think ‘I’m I supposed to have or shall I deny???’ For that moment I completely ignored all the thoughts running in my mind and accepted the bite of spinach that was dropped on to my spoon from Ivy’s chop sticks.
It is like one among the many situations where in we often get confused to choose in between religious/family norms and humanity/kindness? The best way to choose is at times giving up our values for the sake of godliness or goodness and still being happy and content seeing the happiness in other person’s eyes.
The example I came up with was very small but the intensity of discrimination varies from sharing food to the impact of choosing a life partner if he/ she belongs to other religion as afraid of elder’s rejection. When the entire world is stepping towards globalization, it was sad to note that there are people in and around us who are still superstitious (even if not required). I have nothing to say other than showing sympathy for such people. As rightly said one can’t choose their family and background.
Children are very tender and will obey to their elders’ words. Just recollect - have you not ate food with fear when your mom said , ‘If you don’t eat food, the witch will take you away?’ Can the same kind of methods be implied to teach children about religion?
We have every right to follow our religious policies but at the cost of others’ happiness?
Give it a thought…
I have decided from my experiences that I will follow my religion but also I will take care not to hurt others’ feelings… If at all I compromise I will gain pleasure looking at the happiness in the eyes of the other person.
I belong to the religion called Kindness and you?
-D.D
P.S – My intention is not to hurt anyone’s feelings. My apologies in case I had…

It’s just not Sophie’s Story…

It is almost one in the mid night when Sophie reaches her home from office. Her energy is completely sapped and her hunger almost died. Sophie can forego anything for her sleep. Locking the entrance door behind she crashes on her bed.

The house is filled with eerie silence. It’s a well furnished single bed room flat with wooden flooring. Right now, the house is completely messed up and it gives scary impression if any person walks in. It was almost three days since utensils were washed and the floor was mopped. In front of the entrance door Sophie had left her shoe. Sophie loved to be independent. The hall which was named as Paradise on the Day-One she saw the house and but now it appears as a scary den. The newspaper table is smudged with coffee and jam stains and the table is filled with unwashed plates; which were left after having toast. Toast and coffee is Sophie’s usual dinner. The air conditioner above the sofa has not been switched off since three days. The kitchen is looking shoddy with cockroaches moving here and there. In the room attached to the hall, Sophie is sleeping on her bed surrounded by her clothes, hair drier, makeup kit and the list goes on.

In the middle of night Sophie wakes up due to a scary dream. She looks at the clock ticking three and counts the number of hours that she can sleep. Feeling hungry and weak she drags herself to kitchen. Sophie is a tall, slender, fair haired girl in her late twenties, with serene face and brown eyes; which now days always wore a look of anxiety. As her eyelids are dropping down, she makes up her mind to wash her face before having toast and coffee.

She looks herself in the mirror which is above the washbasin and feels as though she is starring at a stranger. Black circles under her eyes, cheeks completely went in and the lips are pale pink color. The tenderness in her face is completely lost, kindness in her eyes is hidden, and deep in her eyes; the dreams buried. As just she looks around the ground, she finds plenty of her hairs fallen. When she looks at the mirror again she finds her image, as though mocking at her own self. She splashes water on her face, comes back to her original self and goes to kitchen to get her food. After having coffee and toast sitting on sofa, she leaves the plate and coffee mug on news paper table and continues her sleep on sofa.

Sophie lives in Chicago, working with Chase Bank as a Business Executive. Sophie’s parents live in New Jersey. She has a younger brother who is a medico. Right from her childhood she imagined herself as a famous Business Lead in her country. She always had a plan to start her own business. To learn the business fundas and to earn for her livelihood, Sophie tries her best and gets into the management related job. Before moving to Chase Bank in Jan 2007, Sophie has worked as a credit card seller, management trainee and sales executive in different firms. Sophie interacts with clients and customers daily. Her role demands lot of patience and hard work. She faces people of different mood swings; inert, violent and firm. By nature Sophie is a very active and good at heart person but along with the time she had to change a lot. Compassion and being affectionate doesn’t suit her profession.

The beam of sun rays penetrating from the curtain opening, falls on Sophie’s face, she turns her face to other side and continues to sleep. After some time, her phone rings she decides to set the alarm to snooze but the ring turns out to be a call from her client. Sophie awakes seeing John’s number reflecting on her mobile display. Baffled and terrified she picks the call and says, ‘Good Morning John, may I know the reason for your early morning call?’ "Sophie, you did a blunder. Your yesterday’s mail regarding the ad contract fails to mention the most important points. Boss is not happy with your work. Come to office as soon as possible." says John and hangs the call before Sophie could reply.

Sophie gets ready in her favorite blue jeans and pink T-Shirt. She sets her hair loose, with simple makeup on face, high heal, carrying a laptop in a backpack she starts to her office. She goes office by bus daily. Sharp at eight in the morning, Sophie reaches office. As soon as she reaches office Sophie goes to John’s desk to discuss the issue. John and Sophie’s boss sits in the same cabin. Kevin, Sophie’s boss asks her to take her seat. Her Boss starts the conversation asking about the ad-contract meeting that Sophie attended the day before. She explains everything well, except for the reason about the dead line that she sets. Kevin warns Sophie to be careful with the deals that she makes from next time. Sophie accepts her mistake gracefully and comes out of the cabin.

The rest of the day goes like a quick flash. Sophie feels happy and relaxed to finish her work soon. The moment she was about to wind her work for the day, she receives a call from Kevin to attend meeting with another client for an ad-contract. As she couldn’t (or cant) say no to him, she stays back to attend the call and completes her day’s work by 9 P.M. Tired and frustrated she visits the hotel nearby office for a Pizza parcel. She reaches home, unlocks the door and turns on the light. Seeing the house, Sophie thinks, cleaning her house is a Hercules Task. After refreshing, she opens the Pizza bag on the dining table. Having Pizza, reminds her of good old college days. Even though the pocket money was limited, the unlimited fun with friends, care free and the jolly life was always enjoyable.
Later Sophie gets engrossed in her thoughts ....Am I going to be a Business Lead really in life? Can I ever come out of this quagmire? Will I ever have time for my personal life? Where have I left my personal interests, hobbies? What my life has kept hidden for me?

This story is not only about Sophie, but also it is about every person who sacrifices their dreams due to different reasons and gets caught up in vicious circle; who can neither come out of it nor enjoy being in it. Striving hard for survival, surrendering the self interests, slogging day in and day out but left out with sleeplessness and negative credit points… Even though the salary is big in number, more than half would be spent for living and the rest for tax.

I can express the feelings on behalf of people like Sophie but I have no idea about the way to come out of it as even…

I’M AWAKE AND MY WORLD IS SET FOR SLEEP. In search of myself…
-D.D